Leave a light on. I wrote that last year, it doesn’t seem that long ago. But I think of this entry so often, probably more than any other entry I’ve posted. I now think not only of the people who can see my light but those who can’t as well. It is comforting to feel that there are people out there others just as distracted and lonely as me.
It’s like airplanes. When I was little whenever an airplane would fly over my parents house when I was playing outside I’d stop and look. Sometimes I would wave but always I would wonder if there was someone in that airplane looking down at me. Maybe it was a little girl like me who was curious about my life, just like I was curious about hers.
Maybe she was traveling somewhere different from everything I know and that everything I know is as foreign to her as her way of life would be to me. As an adult I find that I have the same curiosity about people, yes still in airplanes but also more broad. People who like me who sometimes have trouble sleeping at night.
It seems now not to be a bad thing. I find I treasure this time alone. The quiet. I find I wish I had somewhere where I can lay outside and watch the moon and the stars and really feel the quiet of the world. Like that would make my night complete. Then maybe, just maybe. I could sleep.
al genina November 30, 2009
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